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Divorce’s Impact on Preschool, School-Age, and Adolescent Children
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Divorce’s Impact on Preschool, School-Age, and Adolescent Children
Divorce in America remains an all-time high, with over 45% of all marriages dissolving within 15 years (Repetti, Taylor, & Seeman, 2014). The risks linked with divorce remains an issue of concern, especially when considering the well-being children: preschool kids, school-going and teens, as well as their emotional, psychological, and educational development and response. While many divorces have negatively affected these young populations, the nature of the custody arrangements following the divorce is what actually determines ‘the how’ and ‘to what extent’ the young kids, school children or/and teens respond to their parents’ separation. This essay seeks to address the socio-emotional response of pre-school kids, school-attending children, and adolescents to divorces and custody arrangements and at the same time recommending the possible steps to minimizing divorces and assisting children to cope with divorce effectively.
Socio-emotional response to divorce and custody arrangements
Preschool kids are usually bewildered by the divorce and separation of their parents. Research has it that in the first after parental split-up, preschool age kids do not have the cognitive sophistication to grab the meaning of separation. Consequently, these kids are often overwhelmed with confusion after one of the parents departs from the family home. Most of these children become fearful as they wonder who “will take of me if dad/mom is gone?” (Clarke-Stewart & Brentano, 2006) Others are in mixed up and they wonder if their parents really love them, as they worry what might happen to their access to shelter, food, and parent attachment they used to enjoy.
Preschoolers also express emotional behaviors in response to parental splitting. Many of these children show emotional pain as well as distress by exhibiting anger. The situation becomes dire where custody arrangement is unfavorable like in the case of a split or even single custody. This is because the resident parent, who is usually the mother, may have financial challenges to meet the child’s needs as before hence making the kid feel the gap. The kids thus retaliate by expressing sadness, distress, and withdrawal. Young kids always try to reach their fathers and mothers for emotional attachment, nurturing, care, and protection. Kids between 5 -6 years, usually react by breaking toiletries and kicking and hitting tantrums to seek attention and probably unit the parents(Repetti, Taylor, & Seeman, 2014).
For school-age children who are a product of good and intimate parenting, a divorce leaves them emotionally stricken and socially disadvantaged. Most specifically for those parents who adopt single or split custody, this population of 8 to 12 years becomes depressed and isolated. They feel their parents are running from them. As they blame their children, at their height of anger, they grow bad parental attitudes of ‘bad dad’ and ‘good mom’(Clarke-Stewart & Brentano, 2006). As they become socially impaired, boys respond by fighting with their school peers while girls become lonely and withdrawn.
Adolescents respond to divorce by registering declining school performance, dropping from schools, withdrawing from a friend and exhibiting depression. Most teens become rebellious and engage in early sexual habits. While girls engage in sexual relationships in endeavors to fill the affectionate gap left by the father after a break-up, boys might join bad cliques and become drug users and alcoholics(Demo & Acock, 2008). Other teens usually develop a self-blame game within themselves. They become overwhelmed with guilty as they feel that they are responsible for their parents’ breakup. Because of their emotional weakness, anger piles on them and they lose the sense of worthiness. They lose self-esteem something that, in most cases, triggers stress.
Ways of minimizing divorce
There are many ways that spouses can embrace to control the incidences of divorces and ensure healthy development environ for their children – putting in mind divorce can best be addressed in relationship level. First, the partners can choose to be thrift. Relationships based on affection and love prove to be more lasting compared to those underlined on material and greed. People should engage in relationships because of love nod not crave for wealth(Wallerstein & Kelly, 2006). Second, each partner should always seek time for loving connection with his or her spouse whether face-to-face or via communication (in the case of distance separates). This makes their relationship solid and magnifies their attachment. Fourth, every partner should take it natural to compliment his/her spouse in front of other as well as privately. This strengthens their connection and makes them forget they weaknesses and differences. Finally, amongst other ways, spouses should consider spending time apart but remain faithful. Studies (Demo & Acock, 2008) have it that physical separation usually makes spouses, especially women, more physically and emotionally independent (amazingly possibly) promotes communication between spouses.
Helping children cope with stress
There are numerous methods that parents can always consider while helping kids and teens cope with the situation of divorce. The most underlying measure that either of the parents should prioritize includes:
- Keeping visible conflict and fiery discussions as well as legal debates off the children
- Maintaining normalcy and minimizing the interferences to child’s daily routines
- Confining negativity and blames to secretive therapy dialogues or chats with their friends without the home
- Keeping every parent engaged in the children’s lives as before
- Making their love clear to their kids
- Making their divorce clear to the teens in open and honest way and continuing with their parental love to reduce self-guilt among teens
How I might provide support for the parties involved as a professional counselor
Specifically, as a professional divorce counselor, I can help parties engaged in divorce by:
- Giving each partner time express oneself fairly and equally
- Helping the ex-wife as well as the ex-husband grab a clear understanding of each grief and loss stage
- Teaching acceptance and optimism in future life among other the coping skills central in coping dealing with the psychological and emotional anger and pain resulting from divorce
- Providing an opportunity for the whole family to acquire support and counseling and support by listening to their case and giving them issue-specific pieces of advice
- Providing them with relationship coaching so as to help every spouse comprehend why the relationship did fail, help them accept, move on, and prevent forthcoming relationship difficulties (Demo & Acock, 2008).
Cultural and ethical strategies for promoting resilience, optimum development, and wellness in adolescence
Adolescents are anxiously learning ways and manner of managing their swiftly mutable minds, emotions, and bodies as they navigate their way via the crucial moment of their education. Six key drives are prevalent in adolescents including seeking autonomy, forming relationships, identity search, parents’ separation, the desire to belong, and immature brain managing developed-looking body (Wallerstein & Kelly, 2006). There are therefore numerous cultural and ethical stratagems for promoting wellness, development, and resilient among teens. The most critical strategy is via developing a social, spiritual, and emotional competence in front of guardians and parents who not only care about them but also comprehend they unique transformation and development of adolescence.
Additionally, provision of the proper configuration of learning events and experience is another effective strategy towards enabling teens to become more resilient as well as impacting their live development; emotionally and socially. Moreover, youths can be helped enrich resilience by the provision of support and care, inspiring them of the vast positive expectations, coaching them life skills, offering them chances to engage in career involvement and opportunities, and forming and keeping clear boundaries amongst them.
References
Clarke-Stewart, A., & Brentano, C. (2006). Divorce: Causes and consequences. New Haven [Conn.: Yale University Press.
Demo, D. H., & Acock, A. C. (2008). The impact of divorce on children. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 619-648.
Repetti, R. L., Taylor, S. E., & Seeman, T. E. (2014). Risky families: family social environments and the mental and physical health of offspring. Psychological bulletin, 128(2), 330.
Wallerstein, J. S., & Kelly, J. B. (2006). The effects of parental divorce: Experiences of the child in later latency. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 46(2), 256.
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