Relational Development Challenges

 

 

Relational Development Challenges

            Over our time on earth, we tend to develop different relationships with fellow humans. The first and most basic relationships are with family, then with friends, followed by romantic relationships, and finally, workplace relationships. People often experience interpersonal communication with betrayal between relationships in romance and the workplace. Also, the explanations of betrayal as an ethical challenge in developing relationships compare and differ in interpersonal theories and Christian worldview explanations.

Ethical Challenge (Betrayal) People Experience in the Development of Relationships

            Relationships face various ethical challenges that have the ability to affect the relationship either positively or negatively. The challenge I find the most common among human relationships in today’s world is betrayal. According to Stewart (2012), betrayal is communication the basis of a relationship’s trust and expectations. While we often pray that betrayal, as an ethical challenge in the development of relationships, does not happen, it is essentially inevitable and befalls us at one point or the other. Unfortunately, betrayal seems to have taken control of most interpersonal relationships. When beginning a relationship, individuals start knowing each other, and as a result, they begin developing feelings of trust and commitment towards each other. Trust can be built and broken because it is something that is vulnerable to human relationships. Everyone can attest to having been let down and disappointed by people both at home and at work. The people we love the most, those we live with, even those we work with, and even the very process of life itself tend to test our trust the most(Reina & Reina, 2016). Even the smallest situations in life test people in life. According to Rusbult & Van Lange (2003), the relevance of specific motives and their expression is implied by the specific relationships which present specific problems and opportunities.

            However, it is true to say that not every betrayer is conscious of their actions. Some people do not know that their actions could result in distrust or harm to the betrayed person. It only starts getting evident through actions. Parse (2010) explains that trust is eroded, and the betrayed shows it tacitly in speech and silence when messages are given and taken. Further, the betrayer-betrayed relationship is not immediately made explicit for the person who has been betrayed. In most cases, betrayal causes relationships to fall apart in can even terminate romantic relationships. Depending on the kind of relationship and what is at stake, betrayal can have harsh various harsh consequences. A study by Mackelprang et al., (2014) indicates that betrayals in early childhood and low-income family relationships are a major cause of early age episodes of homelessness, and victims exposed to greater trauma in childhood had a higher likelihood of being re-victimized.

            Gender difference is a key factor in betrayal. In most cases, women tend to betray their fellow women, while men are more likely than women to betray their romantic partners. Essentially, men and women portray their relationships in life in different ways. Personality also correlates with people’s betrayal behavior. Stewart (2012) explains that people with a high likelihood of betraying others tend to be more suspicious, jealous, resentful of others, and envious and have more problems than others. Moreover, such people are unhappy with themselves and find it hard to keep intimate relationships with other people. This could result from their past or situations they are dealing with internally. Betrayers end up hurting people they love. The people likely to betray and to be betrayed are distinguished by all the explained characteristics.

 

Betrayal in Romantic and Workplace Relationships

            As stated earlier, betrayal occurs differently between males and females because gender is a key factor. Also, betrayal is different when applied to romantic relationships and work relationships. A working relationship is more casual and will not care if an individual flirts or messages with another person. This kind of relationship also does not care whether the individual decides to go to dinner with another person other than their romantic partner. However, a work relationship could get hurt if an individual decides to go to dinner with another person from a firm in direct competition with their firm. There is more intimacy in a romantic relationship with romantic partners, and people tend to tell more secrets and communicate about everything. Communication in romantic relationships is kept open. Betrayal in romantic relationships is more detrimental because it can end up in heartbreaks, losing an intimate person, or even the death of one of the involved parties.

Stewart (2012) explains that people who have been betrayed in romantic relationships describe the relationship as having gotten worse after the incident of betrayal. The aftermath of betrayal in romantic relationships is more impactful than in workplace relationships. On the other hand, people try to keep things as professional as possible with each other in a workplace relationship. Workplace colleagues will discuss amongst each other what is going on at the workplace and in their office. They can also become friends telling each other more intimate information about themselves, but for the most part, the relationship is kept exclusively at work. However, workplace betrayal can compromise an individual’s relationship at work with other individuals in the same or different departments.

People will develop workplace relationships with people they can either mentor or look up to. In some instances, people, especially women, can transfer other aspects of relationships unconsciously. This is exemplified in workplace colleagues who act as mother figures with other women or younger colleagues at work. It is in such scenarios that women’s betrayal is seen. The recollections of women’s relationships with advisors and colleagues acting as parental figures demonstrated the phenomenon of professional friendship and silent betrayal (Tang & Freyd, 2012). Most women have mothering instincts and tend to carry this aspect everywhere. However, they need to understand that the workplace is not always the best place to demonstrate such instincts.

Betrayal in romantic relationships has dire consequences, including having children with the involved persons, getting a divorce, and facing the risk of losing everything in the process. Humans face the challenge of preventing their partners from engaging in extra-pair romantic relationships. People have the freedom of choice and can choose to be with whoever they want to; as a result, people seem to lack contentment with one partner; they want more. According to Miller & Maner (2008), a single romantic infidelity is associated with significant reproductive and social costs. Betrayals in the workplace can cause the loss of one’s job and suspension without pay, which harms the individual financially.

Whether individuals are involved in a workplace or romantic relationship, it is important for them to express their expectations of each other in the relationship. Betrayal in such relationships can be avoided by gaining the other person’s trust and being honest with oneself. While there will always be temptations, and no relationship is perfect, people can have good relationships at the workplace and romantically by embracing honesty as a virtue. Whether an individual is a betrayer or the betrayed, they can learn from their actions and learn how to fix the situations for a better future.

Comparing and Contrasting these Relational Challenges with Christian Worldview Explanations

The Christian view of betrayal help people develop themselves and acts as a tool for reference when in need of explanations. The Bible makes it clear to Christians that if they decide to follow Christ, they must be prepared to face rejection and suffering. Jesus Himself experienced betrayal on the face of Earth from one of His disciples, Judas. Just like the theoretical explanation of betrayal, the Christian worldview posits that betrayal may be in the form of broken promises, extramarital affairs, harsh words, or even slanderous accusations. Betrayal comes with searing pain that we must all bear without question. In the Bible, Judas agreed to betray Jesus after being promised to get paid 30 coins of silver (King, 2019). “While he was still speaking, a crowd came up, and the man who was called Judas, one of the Twelve, was leading them. He approached Jesus to kiss him, but Jesus asked him, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?” (Luke 22:47-48, New International Version). The Christian worldview of betrayal is that it is the root of evil because most people betray others for personal benefit, be it financial or social. This explanation is comparable to theoretical explanations, which argue that betrayal results from personal desires which are detrimental to interpersonal relationships.

The Christian worldview of the solution to betrayal is seeking comfort in God alone. In theoretical explanations, people tend to respond to betrayal by reaching out to people around them to seek support and encouragement. While it is helpful to seek support from those around us, the Christian view tells that Christians should turn to God, who comforts His people when betrayed. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5). God better comforts His people in times of betrayal because He does not take sides or deceive (Bunkers, 2018).

The pain caused by betrayal is real and hurts. Healing from betrayal can take a lot of time, and people continue to relive the pain by harboring bitterness, unforgiveness, and resentment in their hearts. The Christian worldview posits that people who have been betrayed should work toward forgiveness. Betrayal is hard to forgive but considering our sinful actions to God who loves to forgive us despite the many times we go back to sin. Worthington Jr (2019) explains that considering the number of times God forgives us, the debt owed to use by our betrayers is minuscule. The Christian worldview explains that embracing God’s grace allows us to move toward the direction of forgiveness. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). At times, the theoretical human view of the solution to betrayal could be ignoring the betrayers, resenting them, and even planning revenge. However, this is not the best solution; the Christian worldview urges people to seek comfort in God and forgive those who have betrayed them.

References

Bunkers, S. S. (2018). With a kiss: betrayal. Nursing Science Quarterly, 31(1), 6-10.

King, F. J. (2019). Betrayal or Blasphemy?“Handing over” God’s Agent in the Portrayals of Judas in the Gospels. Biblical Theology Bulletin, 49(4), 223-230.

Mackelprang, J. L., Klest, B., Najmabadi, S. J., Valley-Gray, S., Gonzalez, E. A., & Cash, R. E. (2014). Betrayal trauma among homeless adults: Associations with revictimization, psychological well-being, and health. Journal of interpersonal violence, 29(6), 1028-1049.

Miller, S. L., & Maner, J. K. (2008). Coping with romantic betrayal: Sex differences in responses to partner infidelity. Evolutionary Psychology, 6(3), 147470490800600305.

Parse, R. R. (2010). More on betrayal: The betrayer-betrayed situation. Illuminations, 19(2), 1.

Reina, D. S.,& Reina, M. L. (2016). Trust and betrayal in the workplace: Building effective relationships in your organization. Recorded Books.

Rusbult, C. E., & van Lange, P. A. M. (2003). Interdependence, interaction, and relationships.

Annual Review of Psychology, 54, 351-375.

https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.54.101601.145059

Stewart, J. R. (Ed.). (2012). Bridges not walls: A book about interpersonal communication (p. 560). McGraw-Hill.

Tang, S. S. S., & Freyd, J. J. (2012). Betrayal trauma and gender differences in posttraumatic stress. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 4(5), 469.

Worthington Jr, E. L. (2019). A Christian View of Forgiveness: Integrating Theology and Philosophy into a Psychological Approach. Measure of People and Space Interactions in the Built Environment: Towards Responsive Development, 15.